Maybe we ask someone else within earshot. Maybe we ask no human at all and turn to AI. Or maybe they’re the sort of questions we find ourselves searching for answers to in the middle of the night, when everything seems more important than it did during the day.
You know the sort of thing. You’re exhausted, counting the minutes until the alarm is due to go off in the morning, and every minute you spend awake is one less minute of sleep. Somehow, that seems like the perfect time for your brain to start asking the really big questions.
I’m thinking of writing some posts that explore just some of those questions. I’m not promising answers. Instead, I’m interested in what happens when we look at them when it isn’t 2am, we’re not exhausted and there’s a little more space to notice whether there’s something new to be seen.
This may be the start of a series. Or not. Who knows? I’m thinking I’ll start and see how it goes.
And today I thought I’d start with:
Am I happy?
From one perspective, this could be a really clean question. Yes, no or I don’t know. But then there are all the answers that appear when our intellect wants to get involved: What actually is happiness? Am I doing it right? How would I know if I was happy? I’d be happy when…
When I have more money. When I’ve lost weight. When I’ve found the right relationship. When work is sorted. When I’ve finally got my life together.
Before we know it, a question that could perhaps have had a very simple answer has turned into something we need to investigate, define and somehow get right.
I also notice that we often interpret “Am I happy?” as a question about whether happiness is something we are supposed to be feeling all the time. And then, depending on the situation, we might even judge ourselves for feeling happy or for not feeling happy.
But what if it didn’t have to mean any of that?
What if “Am I happy?” simply meant: in this moment, am I feeling happy? And what if that didn’t have to mean anything about me personally?
It wouldn’t mean I’m a happy person if the answer is yes, just as it wouldn’t mean there’s something wrong with me if the answer is no. It could simply be what’s happening right now.
Perhaps that makes it a rather different question to sit with.
Am I happy?
If you’d like to keep the conversation going,
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Kettle on. No rush.
Just between us
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