Thursday started like most days do. I had a rough idea of how I thought it would unfold. As you’ve probably guessed, my next line isn’t going to be, “And everything followed the plan in my head perfectly!” I’m not sure that would make for a particularly interesting post.
What I noticed, though, was that my experience of the day was very different from how it would have been a few years ago.
Before I go any further, I want to say this isn’t one of those “Look how well I’ve got life figured out” stories. Those kinds of posts make me internally shudder. I’m as human as everyone else. There are still plenty of times when I get caught up in my thinking, create all sorts of drama in my own head and make life feel much harder than it needs to.
Not because I’m consciously choosing to or deliberately doing anything. In those moments, it simply makes sense to me. That’s how the situation looks, and it often doesn’t even occur to me that I could experience it differently.
And if you’re someone who reads posts like this and immediately starts comparing yourself, wondering why you can’t seem to do the same or quietly concluding you’re getting life wrong, please don’t turn this into another reason to think you’re behind. You’re as human as the rest of us. The reason I’m sharing this isn’t to give you another standard to measure yourself against. Quite the opposite.
I’m sharing it because there was a time when it wouldn’t have occurred to me that Thursday could feel any different either.
I sat down at my desk and very quickly realised my website was down. My mind immediately did a mental scan for anything I could remember changing that might have caused it.
And here’s one very clear difference.
Once upon a time, that scan would almost certainly have been accompanied by something along the lines of, “I’ve broken it. I must have done something wrong. I’m useless at this.”
On Thursday it was simply, “What’s the last thing I know changed? Let’s start there.”
There wasn’t any extra meaning about me. Just a practical place to begin.
When I couldn’t see an obvious fix, I asked AI to help me troubleshoot. Again, it didn’t occur to me to make that mean anything about me. When we’d exhausted everything we could check ourselves, I opened a live chat with tech support.
They were excellent and stuck with looking at the problem until it was eventually back up and running. I chose to stay with that conversation rather than attend a fun networking session I’d planned to go to, and the whole thing ended up taking around five hours and went well into the afternoon.
By the end of the day, the website was back.
It wasn’t the day I’d planned. But life carried on.
If the version of me from years ago had read this, I’m fairly certain she’d have wanted to know what technique I’d used. What was I doing that I hadn’t realised I was doing, or perhaps just wasn’t telling her about?
The answer is none.
I wasn’t reminding myself to stay calm, trying not to take it personally or consciously thinking differently. It simply didn’t occur to me to add all that extra meaning.
At some stage, I’ve had a fresh thought. I’ve seen something differently enough that, in this particular kind of situation, that old habit of making what was happening mean something about me just didn’t make sense.
Not because I’ve trained myself out of it. Not because I caught the thought quickly enough and replaced it with a better one. It simply wasn’t where my mind went.
I know that may sound disappointing if you’re hunting for a technique. I suspect an earlier version of me would have found it disappointing too. She’d have wanted something to do. Something she could practise, remember or apply next time something went wrong.
But now I see that very differently.
A technique is something I have to remember to do. Seeing something differently doesn’t require me to remember.
And that’s why I’m sharing this. Not because Thursday is the point. It was just an ordinary day that happened to shine a light on something I’d never have noticed years ago.
There was a time when it had never occurred to me that an experience like that was possible.
So if there are places in your own life where it currently seems inevitable that you’ll react a certain way, feel a certain way or make something mean something about you, perhaps that’s simply how it looks from where you’re standing today.
It doesn’t mean it has to look that way forever.
A fresh thought can arrive at any moment.
Sometimes that’s all it takes.
If you’d like to keep the conversation going,
I’d love to write to you.
Every couple of weeks, I’ll send you a letter with stories, observations and questions from my own life, shared in the hope they might spark something in yours.
When you join, I’ll also send you A Few Minutes. A short audio that’s simply an invitation to pause for a while and put everything down.
Kettle on. No rush.
Just between us
A quiet, thoughtful letter delivered every two weeks. Join today and receive “A Few Minutes”, a free 8½-minute guided audio to pause with. A small gift you don’t have to earn.
