The other week I went to London by train.
I’m slightly suspicious of Rugby station.
It goes back to my first ever London theatre visit as a teenager. I was going to see a matinee show and had a backstage pass afterwards, which was a VERY big deal to me. I’d been counting down to it for months. Many a dull lesson had been enlivened by me doodling how many hours there were until curtain up. 😂
Everything was going smoothly until we got as far as Rugby station. Then there was an issue with the train and we all had to get off. I remember what felt like an eternity waiting for information before we were put on another train, about 30 minutes late.
Now, objectively, this wasn’t exactly a disaster. We got on another train. The journey continued. And we got to the theatre in plenty of time.
But while I was sitting there waiting, my teenage brain had apparently decided there was a very real possibility that the countdown I’d been watching for months was going to reach zero with me still sitting at Rugby station.
It didn’t. Everything was fine. And yet, all these years later, I still find myself giving Rugby station an imaginary side eye whenever I pass through it.
Which seems a bit unfair to Rugby station really. It was just the place where something uncertain happened.
But perhaps that’s how these things work. Something happens, and even when it turns out fine, some little part of us remembers the uncertainty.
Not necessarily the facts. Just the feeling of:
- What if?
- What if we don’t get there?
- What if this doesn’t work out?
- What if I make the wrong choice?
- What if something happens that I haven’t thought of yet?
We can know perfectly well that there’s no particular reason to be worried and still find ourselves quietly preparing for something to go wrong. Perhaps that’s just being human.
I don’t think teenage me needed to be told to stop worrying. She had no idea what was going to happen next. But I do find it interesting how long a little bit of uncertainty can stick around.
Anyway, Rugby station. I’m watching you. 😂
If something in this post resonates and you’d like to explore it further, reach out. I’d be happy to talk.
