I used to joke that I didn’t have a work Christmas party because the boss wouldn’t let me.
Which is a bit ridiculous really, because I’m self-employed. I am the boss.
But I think there was more truth in that joke than I realised.
Permission has been on my mind because it’s the theme for this month’s Be Light community call. And it’s got me thinking about what permission looks like when you’re your own boss.
These days, I can decide to go to the cinema in the middle of the working day because I fancy seeing a particular film.
It might still feel a little extravagant. There’s something rather lovely about having the flexibility to do that.
But I don’t judge myself for it anymore.
The nap is a different matter.
If I’m tired and there’s paperwork waiting for me, there’s still a part of me that thinks I should just get on with it.
Work is supposed to be hard, isn’t it? Being tired is part of it.
Except sometimes I know that what I actually need is a nap.
Not because I’ve decided I don’t fancy working, but because I’m tired. And I know that I’ll probably be far more able to tackle the paperwork afterwards.
And I can still find myself feeling like I need permission for that.
How many rules about work, rest and what we’re “supposed” to be doing do we carry around with us, without ever really deciding whether we still agree with them?
Perhaps permission isn’t always about someone else giving us permission.
Sometimes it’s noticing that the boss is us.
This has all been on my mind because on Wednesday, we’re gathering for our monthly Be Light call, a conversation around a theme, with no agenda beyond seeing what shows up when we explore it together.
The topic this month is permission.
If you’d like to join us, you’re welcome. It’s on Wednesday 7th October at 4pm UK / 11am ET / 8am PT, and you can sign up here.
If something in this post resonates and you’d like to explore it further, reach out. I’d be happy to talk.